i just made my gag reflex go away.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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