I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
