Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
