No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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