my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
