I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had to cum in my sink.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
