i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
