at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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