your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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