please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
