I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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