Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
