that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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