i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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