Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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