Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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