I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I could fuck to npr.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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