Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Send help, water and tortillas.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize