South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am naked and annoyed.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize