guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
