Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
