Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize