He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
