he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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