also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize