the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
