There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
