your parents love me but you hate me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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