I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
