is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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