Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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