if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
