yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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