OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
