i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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