I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize