I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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