is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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