drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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