Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
