can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize