3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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