Swine flu. Run for my life!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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