How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
