True but thats because hes a fetus.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize