Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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