Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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