I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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