One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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