we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
