just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
