I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
