i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
