I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
