when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
