Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
