i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize