Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
