I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
