Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
its not stalking. its research.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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