Even the bartender felt bad for me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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