I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
