I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
