David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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