I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
