hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
