just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
