I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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