your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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